Today, January 3, 2023, is the two year anniversary of the above knee amputation of my left leg. Just like last year this time, it has been a bitter sweet occasion but more sweet than bitter. Bitter in the sense that I still wish the amputation was not necessary. Sweet in the sense that I'm still here and am becoming a better person. I love the person that I'm evolving into.
I've had to learn the invaluable lesson called, "Be Patient With Yourself." I'm learning to be patient with myself as I continue to heal physically, mentally, and emotionally. Never did I think two years ago that I'd be dealing with some of the same issues. I'm still trying to overcome issues with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, Anxiety, Depression, Self-Esteem, Health, and Mobility.
Luckily for me, my counselor has been working with me on coping skills and strategies. These strategies have helped tremendously. I vividly remember not being able to look at the road while riding in a car much less driving one. Riding pass McLeod Hospital in Dillon and looking at it would bring on panic attacks. Anxiety would keep me from being able to get to sleep at night because I worried about how I could effectively protect and or save my wife if there was an intruder or emergency that took place while asleep. Aside from the occasional flare up, I am overcoming these hurdles.
However the biggest hurdle I've had to overcome but still struggle with is self-doubt. Like many people, whenever faced with a new challenge, I would sometimes succumb to fear. Fear would lead to self-doubt. Oddly enough, Youtube, social media, and encouraging words from my wife, family, and friends helps me face and overcome fear.
How does Youtube and Social Media help me overcome fear and self-doubt you ask? The answer to this question can be found in the Bible. Habakkuk 2:2 to be exact.
Then the LORD answered me and said: “Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it.
Well, take "Write" and replace it with "Watch." Whenever there was something I wanted to do or accomplish, I would search Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, and other outlets to find videos and photos of others doing the thing(s) I wanted to do. Watching these videos let me know what was possible. It gave me hope and encouragement. I was even able to communicate with some of the people in the videos and got advice on accomplishing my goals. Now when I'm faced with challenges or fears, I eventually remind myself of all that I've been able to accomplish over the past twenty four months. Then I remind myself that God wouldn't give me the vision or desire to do something that's not possible. I just need to put in the work and trust that things will work out.
I still have people telling me on almost a weekly basis, how much of an inspiration I've been to them. This actually inspires me. During those tough days, or when facing adversity, I use their words as fuel to continue to improve myself and work towards my goals. For this very reason, I never hesitate to encourage someone and acknowledge the good I see in them. You never know the true impact your words will have on a person.
In addition to encouraging words from others, what keeps me going is believing better is coming. I remember being interviewed by reporter Carlos Flores in February of 2021. I don't remember the exact question he asked, but I remember the end of my response. I said, "I know something good will come from this." The weirdest thing happened as I said that. A chill went down my spine and I felt goosebumps on my skin. I often reflect on that moment during my darkest moments. It is in these moments that those words speak life into my very being and give me the courage to P.U.S.H. Every time I've wanted to give up, or was too afraid to try, I knew all I had to do was Persevere Until Something Happened....EVERYDAY. It's that last word that's the hard part. It's the EVERYDAY, no matter how you feel or the circumstances. But on those days where I feel like I just can't do it, I've learned to be patient with myself. Rest. Reflect. And try again tomorrow. Give it a try.
If you have not had a chance, be sure to check out my youtube channel #wrightstrong. New videos coming soon.
Until Next Time...
P.U.S.H. Because No One Fights Alone. #WrightStrong
