A little over four weeks ago, I had rotator cuff surgery performed to repair a large tear sustain during “The Accident.” Looking back on the weeks leading up to the surgery I was really stressed. I often spent time worrying about how I would do this or that. I just kept thinking about how difficult it was going to be not being able to use my right arm for anything while also being a left above knee amputee. I constantly thought about all the things I didn’t think I’d be able to do. The whole time I’m thinking, “August 27th is approaching. Will you be ready for life after the surgery?”
So in an effort to be proactive, I began trying to do small tasks here and there without using my right arm. The first task on my list was walking. Periodically I would walk with my arm in the sling position, first to see if I could do it, and secondly to get accustom to it. It felt good to know I could walk with no major issues. I just had to be on constant alert because falling means starting over with the surgery and that’s not an option.
My next task was ensuring that I wouldn’t have any issues donning my prosthetic without assistance. I still remember the morning that I tried it. Kadra was getting ready for work and I was getting ready for therapy. I was successful in putting the prosthetic on and when I told Kadra I was as excited as if I had just won the lottery. Things were coming together nicely. One by one I was able to achieve completion of daily tasks without the use of my right arm, but there was one task looming in the back of my mine that I couldn’t figure out.
How was I going to wash? Everyday I asked myself that question. I just couldn’t grasp how it would be possible to get into the shower or tub with only one leg and one arm. Normally I would take a shower and use the walker to push myself up over the lip of the threshold of the shower entrance. From there I had a shower chair that I would sit on to wash. This would not be an option. I thought about several solutions but none of them worked. Kadra offered some suggestions but they didn‘t work either. Finally, I just kept telling myself that I’d figure it out somehow. That would calm me down for a bit, but the stress and worry would always come right back.
Finally it hit me. “You will know what you need to know, when you need to know it.” A former band director and mentor of mine, Ms. Billie Williamson, told me that. We were in conversation at some event and I was expressing my uncertainty about a possible situation and that was the advice she gave. That was probably 12 or 15 years ago. I’ve shared that same advice with others over the years, and it’s never left me. When I recalled this great advice, I was finally at peace. I had no more worries.
August 27th finally came. Surgery went by smoothly. I even got escorted to the car after it was over lol. All of the worrying ended up being in vain. Everything I was worried about not being able to do, with the help of my wife and mother, I found a way to do it or was able to get assistance.
There are two lessons that I’m continually learning on this journey. The importance of patience and the importance of not worrying. Life teaches and prepares you for the future not the present. Once you realize that, you understand that worrying is useless and having patience is essential. Your past and current life experiences are preparing you for your future. Preparing you to be who you need to be in any encounter you may face. So whatever it is that you are worrying about, whatever it is that you are unsure if you can handle, just remember.
”You will know what you need to know, when you need to know it.”
P.S. We figured out how to take a shower.
Until Next Time...
P.U.S.H. Because No One Fights Alone. #WrightStrong
